So, just to make myself clear, I have decided that I do not want a funeral. The way I feel about weddings is the same way I feel about funerals: it's something that happens in life that we are required to go to, but when you are there you feel slightly awkward and there are really only a few things you can say which are appropriate but yet very cliche.
When I am gone I don't care what you do with me. Wait. Please scatter my ashes in the ocean. But don't spend a lot of money, I'm won't be there anyways, so there is no point.
I know it sounds harsh but thats the reality of it all.
But, if you need to go through the grieving process and it will help you out then by all means go for it. But, please promise me that it will be as least awkward as it can be. And, please try to play somewhat decent music.
Any rendition of these songs will be quite appropriate:
How Great Thou Art
If Ever I Loved Thee
Blessed to be a Witness- Ben Harper
I think that will do it.